Why Women are Often Attracted to Older Men (The Sugar Daddy Phenomenon)

It’s true to say that many young men, on reaching the age in their lives when pubescence takes control of their lateral thinking, find themselves fantasizing about older females, often twice their own age and upwards. For instance it’s quite common for young men still at school age, testosterone flying everywhere, to have the ‘hots’ for one or more of their female teachers, neighbor’s wife or even a pal’s mother.

The consensus of opinion reached by many is that the attraction by a young male to a more mature woman is based around the fact that she has experience… a working knowledge of the male anatomy, and a sexual prowess not to be discovered so easily in a younger woman his own age.

Although there are exceptions, in the majority of cases, his secret lusting remains just that, and goes unnoticed by the older female who still regards him as a young student or friend of her son.

However, as the young male grows older, and gains his own level of experience, so his desire for the mature female wanes, and on reaching middle age, will frequently have his head ‘turned’ by a much younger woman.

All this is in stark contrast to the attraction patterns noted in the life of the female of the species. Whereas the young girl, on first becoming sexually aware, will hone her intimacy skill on the younger male, she will often be less interested in him as she gets older, turning her attention to the more mature men that cross her path. But why is this the case?

The Sugar Daddy Phenomenon, whilst oftentimes the source of amusement for some, can in fact develop into quite a powerful relationship, with loyalty, romance and chivalry being key factors in the union. Many women note that a guy around her own age or younger, will not show her the same level of respect, or pay as much attention to detail that his older counterpart will be inclined to show her.

It’s a valid point that women are more mature than men at any given age, and its not surprising that by the time she reaches her mid-thirties, she already feels more compatible with a male ten or twenty years her senior, and left guys her own age, far behind both in mentality and emotionally. Her more mature partner is more equipped to seduce her mind as well as her body. He will be less afraid of displaying public affection, holding her hand or opening doors for her. Happy to allow the whole world see how proud he is to be by her side.

Sexually too, he may not be an athlete between the sheets, yet he will feel the need to ensure his girl is pleasured well as a priority over seeking to satisfy his own desires. Her younger lover will no doubt give her “the best seventeen seconds she’s ever had”, before raiding her fridge in search of a beer. Whereas in the case of her older guy, the foreplay will begin in the restaurant with witty flirting, eye contact and laughter. Later they will enjoy the afterglow together, the passion may have subsided but the emotion still very much alive.

The term ‘Sugar Daddy’ was first used in the early 1920’s and is described in the WordWeb Dictionary as “A wealthy older man who gives a young person expensive gifts in return for friendship or intimacy”. The sugar in this term alluded to the sweetening role of the gifts, and daddy to the age difference between the pair. There is no mention of love, romance or indeed a relationship in the dictionary description of the term, Yet it is a fact that women are often attracted, even turned on by men of substance or power. Is it so inconceivable then, that a younger woman could find happiness in a relationship with a guy old enough to be her father, who has so much more to offer her than money and gifts?

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Younger Women Dating Older Men is a good thing

When a young woman is romantically involved with an older man, one might assume he’s her “sugar daddy,” or that one or both are getting something out of the relationship other than love. We make those assumptions because we equate age with power or money, but that’s not often the reason for a May-December relationship.

Younger women prefer to date older men for many reason， “The truth of the matter is that older men come with maturity, grace and dignity. They value their younger mates and treat them with more respect.” And this, of couse, is appealing to young women who have grown tired of the narcissistic adolescence frequently found in younger men.

In addition, older men typically possess more confidence. They’ve reached the age where they place a high value on things like love and family, and are generally more focused on things that truly matter.

“This maturity is not tied to financial success — it comes from simply being at a secure place in their lives from having lived in the world longer,” adds Hokemeyer.

There’s also a biological aspect. Women are very intuitive: They know what they value, what they need, and are typically gifted at obtaining these things.

“A younger woman who is mature for her age may want children, so biologically, it makes sense to go after a man who has the means and resources to provide for her and for those children。

The relationship that a young woman had with her father, while growing up, could also impact her relationship choices later in life. And yes, it’s sometimes true that a woman who didn’t get the love and support she craved from her father will instead seek it out from a mate, but only sometimes.

“Father absence, due to death or divorce, in early adolescence can contribute to certain behavioral problems, but the cliché that young girls seek a father figure when they date older men has more to do with them mirroring their mother’s behavior than replacing the father they lost,” says Lawrence.

“Some women feel that their fathers were exceptional and provided them with everything they needed,” adds Hokemeyer. “Therefore, they seek out mates who share the very qualities they valued in their fathers.”

Whatever reason a woman has for choosing an older man, the most important thing is that she’s happy. For both sexes, knowing what you want in a relationship (and sorting out how to get it) is generally a sign of success, and an indicator of emotional health.

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